- Feel Good
- 11th Feb 2026
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- 0 minute
Microdating: The 45-minute date that’s changing modern relationships
Many of us are time poor and cash-strapped so grand date nights are off the table.
Micro dates are easier to slot into our lives, usually come without a large bill and can be worked around childcare, school days and work.
WHAT IS MICRODATING?
I think of a micro date as a small moment for a couple to re-connect, whether it’s grabbing a coffee together; sneaking a quick lunch or drink a deux or timing exercise together.
Recently, my husband and I have begun using the hour our sons are playing sport on a Monday night to duck into a nearby pub for a swift drink. The hour flashes by but it’s lovely to be together and chat interrupted. I’d usually use that hour to catch up on ironing and if we try to schedule a date night, an outing to the pub takes weeks of planning!
Kathryn and her husband rely on a regular morning walk to check in with each other and have built this into their morning routine. She explains: “We’re moving and getting fresh air, having child-free time so are able to talk without distractions. The weather can derail things though – I’ve really missed our walks while it’s been so rainy.”
Jennie is a fan of micro dates as they are easier to slot into the day. “My husband and I try to squeeze in a workout together when it works – usually on a weekday. We’d take a class together – something high intensity where we can partner together – then grab a shake for me, a coffee for him and dash back to work. This was supposed to be a weekly thing when our youngest started school, but we don’t achieve it as regularly as we’d like.”
Micro dates tend to mean we take our eyes off our emails and put down our phones, too. Which adds to the feeling of it being a date, even if it only lasts 45 minutes.
Dr Candice O’Neill is a Counselling Psychologist. She says these quick moments of reconnection are important to show our partners that – despite time, money or life constraints – we’re still showing up. “The intention behind a micro date signals a commitment to the other of attempting to nurture the relationship and stay connected. Most activities at home that couples do subtly involve distractions such as Netflix and over time this can cause disconnection.”
SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY
There’s plenty said about dedicated date nights and while these are great in theory, they can get pricey and there’s a sense of it needing to be an impressive occasion.
Childcare issues, financial pressures and busy work lives can all derail date nights.
Often micro dates are spontaneous. Sarah and Chris enjoy a last-minute, low-pressure lunch date when things fall into place. Sarah says, “We love a lunch date in a school day. My husband will sometimes phone me at midday and say, ‘Why don’t you pop into town and meet me for a quick bite?’ If it’s Friday, I insist on having a glass of wine.”
A lunch date can also bring added perks that a weekend date night wouldn’t. Sarah adds, “Last week we went to a new small plates place – it was great good and super value lunch menu and somewhere that you have to book weeks in advance for a Friday or Saturday.”
Quickly grabbing lunch or squeezing in a drink can re-energise your bond but feels far less pressure and is a low-cost and lower-effort way to carve out time together – something that is especially hard for long term couples with caring responsibilities, pets to walk and a busy midweek calendar.
Dr O’Neill believes that we approach micro dates more able to connect because we haven’t been tied up trying to arrange the logistics of a bigger occasion. She tells us, “A micro date alleviates a whole lot of logistical and cognitive pressure in terms of planning. The relaxed nature of a micro date provides the greatest start to being present and less distracted. Some of the most connected couples I work with schedule nature walks a few times a week to attend to each other due to limited external demands. With this type of date, they can choose to turn phones off or go somewhere WiFi free.”
Whether you and your partner are limbering up for a run together or heading to your favourite coffee shop – carving out or grabbing that segment of time is key. Dr O’Neill reminds us that however you choose to micro date, it’s small step but big investment in your relationship: “It prompts being present together, is an opportunity for honest self-expression and active listening in addition to being a really great way to check in and plan for the future.”
Jo Dunbar
A journalist with over 15 years experience; ranging from online outlets to national newspapers via glossy magazines. Jo started her career on the Features team of a supplement at a national Sunday paper; from there she became a celebrity writer then celebrity editor and moved into women’s magazine with roles at…
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